The Cancer Sutra

This project exists
to help save lives.

(One tweak, thrust, moan, and pant at a time.)

Before the what, the why.

Because fear of cancer can be as bad as cancer itself.
Because the earlier you detect cancer, the greater the chances
of treating it successfully.
Because fear, like cancer, may have the power to spread
— but they both share one major weakness:

Knowledge.

Because of all this, The Cancer Sutra is designed to
challenge the taboos and conventions about cancer.
Firstly by talking about how to look for cancer, not just
find it. Secondly, by bringing the fight against cancer, and
the prevention of it, out of a place of isolation.

After all, saving lives
is one thing.

Having fun while doing it — well, that’s something
we can all get behind. (Or in front of, depending.)

But enough foreplay!

Let’s get to the real
thrust of the matter.

ONWARD & UNDERWARD

Breast Cancer

Possibly the easiest of all places to commit to memory are the mammaries. But in the event your partner’s melons leave you scratching yours, this handy (pardon) guide should help you squeeze the most out of your (up-and–) downtime.

Just try the TWEAK method.

Take a long look at your partner with their shoulders back and their arms on their hips, making sure their breasts are the usual size, shape, and color.

Work the arms into a raised position, and look again for dimpling, puckering, discoloration, or movement or inversion of the nipples should be given professional attention.

Eye the nipple for for any signs of fluid coming out of one or both nipples (this could be a watery, milky, or yellow fluid or blood).

Appraise the tissue of the breasts first with your partner lying down, then in a seated position, and always in a circular pattern to ensure you cover the whole of them.

Keep exploring from a range of positions, such as sitting, standing, or even in the shower. Not only for the thoroughness this affords — but also for the fun.

Testicular Cancer

Tackling the testicles may seem like a handful. So if you find yourself concerned you might not have what it takes to judge a sack in the sack, we have just the technique for you.

Simply LICK the testicles.

Look for enlargement, or swelling of the scrotal skin.

Inspect one testicle at a time, rolling each one gently between your thumb and index finger. If you find one testicle is larger than the other, reserve your squeals for more pleasurable activities, for this is quite common.

Check for bumps along the sides and front of the testicles.

Know your epididymis — the soft, tubelike structure behind the testicles that collects and carries sperm. Lumps on or attached to the epididymis are quite normal.

Skin Cancer

The skin is the largest of the body’s organs (yes, men, even yours). Which likely means the thought of memorizing every delicious curve, nook, and cranny has paralyzed your brain under the weight of this seemingly impossible task.

Never you fret.

You’ll soon have your partner’s every inch under both wraps and yourself.

All you need to do is roll up your sleeves, crack your knuckles, and get ready to FONDLE.

Find any marks or bumps on your partner’s body and try to memorize their general shape and size.

Observe these marks over time for changes and alterations.

Note any new marks or textures that might spring up. The color of melanoma can range anywhere from red to blue, to anywhere in between, but can also be without pigment.

Determine the diameter. For while benign marks come in all sizes, “super” should not be one of them.

Look for notches, grooves, asymmetry, or any other textural oddities. Benign marks are typically smooth, not rough or patchy.

Engage the help of a medical professional, no matter how comfortable you may feel with your prognosis. There will never be a replacement for the opinion of a medical professional.

Prostate Cancer

The prostate leaves much to be desired in the accessibility department. At least, for self-exams.

Thankfully, after reading this little guide, you and your partner will doubtless feel more equipped than ever to put your finger on all of the prostate’s delicacies.

Just remember to PROBE it.

Position your partner for easy access to his most guarded asset.

Rub an ample amount of lube onto your index or middle finger (or both, for those expert spelunkers among you).

Open the cheeks for uninhibited entry.

Bring your extended, well-lubed digit in first as far as you can — then upward or downward (towards the belly button). There you will find the prostate.

Explore his prostate in gentle, circular motions. It should be firm and rubbery, but not hard, or cause him pain.

Little peeping Tom, why don’t you join the fun?

Visit our Support Page to see how you can help stick it to cancer, hard!

Support the Cause

Support for The Cancer Sutra goes toward helping raise awareness, funding research, and spreading the message about how early detection can help save lives.

Not Titillated Yet?

Visit our Support Page to help put the squeeze on cancer.

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Now, now — don’t leave us hanging.

Lend us a hand on our Support Page to help spread the word about early detection.

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Now that we’ve bared it all...

Visit our Support Page to help make early detection top (or bottom) of mind.

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Shameless plug here...

Visit our support page to see how you can help give cancer the finger!

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You’ve got to give some to get some.

Thank you for your interest in helping give cancer the bird (and giving your lover something quite a deal more pleasurable). Note that 100% of net proceeds from sales of both ebook and poster options go to Stupid Cancer®, to help anyone affected by young adult cancer to Get Busy Living by building community, improving quality of life, and providing meaningful survivorship.